REHAB– LaShena Cross
I have officially begun rehab because the truth is I am suffering from an addiction. There are lots of addictions, be they to meds, alcohol or illegal drugs–
Whatever your addiction may be, if you suffer from any type of addiction then I am sure you understand where I am
I am—-
I am addicted–
Addicted to this idea–
Addicted to this possibility—
This addiction started at 17, then I was never able to admit–
I had a problem, I would
oftentimes point a finger or pass a blame or simply remain
blind to the issue however, admitting is the first step
to recovery–
17, I took my first hit–blown away by the euphoria, I experienced when the smoke cleared–
I laid there high…I looked over at my drug and I was hooked…. I was always told that it only take once..I took this drug at the expense of my heart bold and unafraid of its lasting affects that weren’t clear at the present, time progressed and I was hit with my first, low tears flowed uncontrollably, but even after this let down I remained fearful, but wild-eyed at the possibilities of yet another euphoric adventure…life appeared a blur and my drug cleared the misunderstandings. I begin to communicate on a higher level with my drug..then it happened, the love affair began, ..I was lost in the smoke only to see my drug—
We shared these passionate moments on the bathroom sink—
My drug filled my soul with promises that I would never have to experience a low like before, that bliss was in the future, talks of mental getaways and forehead kisses left me higher than the first—
I floated on to another life with my drug–
Yet suddenly without warning or even a kind word I fell so low…I looked into eyes filled with hatred and the love was snatched away without my permission.
I searched frantically for another escape from my reality–
I traveled to the edge of lifetimes and saw destruction—
I looked back and I began to understand that if I didn’t fight this addiction I would spend eternities searching for my high–
When he left with what fell apart before it could begin—my high was lowered–
I am sane enough to realize I can’t take this drug any more, for if I take another hit I am sure to die—
I love my drug for the lessons he taught will never be forgotten–
For time spent won’t be compared to anything I have yet to experience–
My deep infatuation with the possibility of experiencing, what was selfishly snatched away has ended–
I am sober enough to turn out the lights….
and let the smoke clear…..